I Know It's In There And Now I Can't Drive Home

I had a slight panic attack this morning when a spider decided it wanted to hang out with me in my car as I was driving down the highway to get to work. I'm OK when the car isn't moving but when I'm going 70+ MPH I somehow forget normal brain functions and instead my only thoughts are holy crap don't crash a spider is in here how do I get it out what do I do I don't want to die! It may have just wanted to drive since it was headed towards my steering wheel but for obvious reasons that wasn't happening. But mostly because I wanted to kill it.

It's dreams mean nothing to me

(Picture from Drawception)

So, rather than killing the spider with one of the many napkins or receipts in the center console, I decided in my moment of panic that the best thing to do would be to fling it away from me to the passenger side of the car. This creates another issue. Now I know there is a spider somewhere in my car that is alive and probably wants to seek revenge. I mean, I probably killed it's dream of driving a car or something, but I have my reasons. But since spiders don't understand rational thought I had better check to make sure my break lines aren't cut or anything before I leave work today.

And then when I actually stopped the car to look for it, I found myself whispering as I looked over at the passenger side of the car "come out so I can kill you". I realized after I said it how creepy that actually was and the whispering made it worse, I think. But I truly meant it. Please show yourself, spider, before I start driving again. I won't feel at ease until I either find and kill it or the weather drops below freezing and I can assume it froze to death. Either is acceptable but I would prefer sooner rather than later.

Or maybe I'll just buy a new car and never drive that one again. Or since it's winter I'll invest in sled dogs. Or a snowmobile? Those options will be cold but at least there won't be spiders.

P.S. Want to know why I hate spiders so much? This is part of it. Also, because it's normal and people who aren't grossed out by spiders worry me.

Out Of The House... For Shopping!

I had some fun times over my birthday and I have had way too much cake over the last 2 weekends. It was all excellent and even though I do love cake, I've had a bit much in too short of a time span. Somehow, though it pains me to say it, I am all caked out. I know, I'm surprised, too. Plus on top of all of the extra Halloween candy I did something I rarely do... I turned down a cookie. I think I'm sick, guys.

TARDIS cake by Ashley; HP cake by Heather

My Birthday weekend I went to Birch Run, MI to do some shopping with my family (Mom, Aunts, Cousin, & Grandma) and we took a quick trip over to Frankenmuth so I could be forced into the Christmas hell that is Bronner's. If you don't know what that is, it's a HUGE store that is full of Christmas decorations and other stuff. I think a good 85% of it's stock is ornaments. It was cool at first, but after my Mom made me follow her around for 3 hours on our first visit, I never wanted to go back. I'm still slightly traumatized.

I found the ornament that fits me, somehow.

It also has weird elves that welcome you. And a room with display cases full of tiny, creepy dolls. And Christmas patterened toilet paper! It did have some cool decorations though.

 
And a sexily posed Santa!

 He tried to seduce me with Christmas cheer

See what that place does? It even somehow made this post Christmas themed. I felt bad for the people who work there because of the constantly playing Christmas music. I imagine it might be one of those things you can tune out after awhile... or it will drive you crazy and you'll end up quitting. One of those.

The only thing about the hotel that made me nervous was that the corner of the bathroom had been on fire at some point.

What happened here?!

But over all I was glad I got to go and see some of my family members I don't see often enough. We are all hilarious when we get together and a lot of fun was had. Plus we got to take a carriage ride. So, you know... it was extra awesome and stuff.

Favorite Things: October (Birthday Edition!)

I had a birthday this past weekend filled with fun times and a lot of food. Seriously... a lot of food. And cake. It was wonderful and I'm probably going to blog about it soon. And since this is my blog and it was just my birthday, I'm going to talk about things I like... because I can! So here are some things I liked that I got either around or for my birthday.

Things I got that just happened to be around my birthday

Lootcrate
This month's Lootcrate theme was "Survival" and it came with this spectacular "Ewoking Dead" shirt from GraphicLab Tees! They have them on the site still but they're limited edition so hurry and get one!

 I love both Ewoks & The Walking Dead

so I was gleeful to get this! GLEEFUL!

It also came with the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (who also wrote the book World War Z).

Mental gifts to myself

Go Mighty
There is a lot of stuff I want to try and this helps me keep track. So now every time I think "hey I'd like to try/do that someday" I can just add it to my list- simple! Plus I can remember to blog about it after I check it off! Check out my list here and offer suggestions!

Organization
Buttoned Up is a great website for organization! They even have free printouts so I can get all organized without having to buy things to help me get organized. I love free things.

Things I'm buying myself

Books
Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh came out on October 29th (which I'm hoping to get in the mail soon). Allie Brosh is a blogger and the great thing about Allie's stuff is that I liked it even before I knew what it was. Allie is the creator of the "ALL THE THINGS!" meme I've seen all over the interwebs. Her blog is hilarious (the drawings really make it) and I can't stop myself from giggling every time I read it.

Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft is a graphic novel I've heard a lot about so I finally decided to check it out- I ordered it the same time as the other book mentioned so I hope it get them soon. It's supposed to be creepy and since it's Halloween time and I like to read scary stuff, it seemed like a good time to read it.

Video Games
Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. I get to be a bad-ass pirate. Isn't that enough!? Seriously though, I just started playing it yesterday and it's awesome! I'M A PIRATE!

I'm on a boat!

Stuff I got from other people

Doctor Who
My sister knitted me the 4th Doctor's scarf, which will be extra warm in the winter but nearly impossible to wear (it is, like Tom Baker's scarf, ridiculously long). She also sent me a TARDIS mug that will be kept full of warm liquids this winter. It's shaped like a TARDIS and everything!

My friend at work (Thanks, Ashley!) also got me a TARDIS travel mug (among many other cool things) so I can take my warm liquids to go!

T-Shirts
My husband ordered me a couple of shirts from shirtwoot! that I was very happy with. One was the "Wishful Thinking" t-rex and "It Came Out of Nowhere" (car from Back to the Future crashing into the TARDIS).

Wishful Thinking

Happy end of October! Now I have to prepare for the dreaded "No Shave November". I hate it so much.

How Chucky Ruined My Childhood

Once when I was younger my parents were watching Child's Play. I'm not sure why since it still doesn't seem to me that it would be something they would enjoy. But it was the late 80's so I'll let it slide. I was supposed to be in my room being a good child while they sat uncomfortably (I would say entertained but I don't think it's accurate) through the movie.

I, being a curious and daring child, decided I needed to see what this weird doll movie was all about. So, peeking around the doorway from the hall to the living room, I watched parts. I got caught a couple times and was told to go back to my room. But I would not stay there... oh no, I had to watch it. Sitting quietly on the horribly awesome green, yellow, orange and brown shag looking carpet, I peeked around the corner again to watch more. Which is when I'm assuming (my memory blocks that part from me) someone was horribly murdered by a doll.

Horrified with what I had seen I ran to my room that, much to my dismay, contained a massive amount of dolls. You can imagine my terror at this point. I was surrounded by possible murderers!

This lead me to two different conclusions. 1- that I was done with dolls and didn't want them in my room anymore. They were to now live in a garbage bag (or a safe if we had one... we did not) in the basement; And 2- Dad was terrible at making me feel better. This is the fun part, kids...

He gave me a scenario and asked what I would do. This scenario did not help lessen my fear. He asked something along the lines of "what would you do if the cat (who I was sitting by at the time) kept coming back to life, etc" and he basically proceeded to tell me the plot of Stephen King's Pet Sematary. Really, Dad? How is that supposed to help in this situation? Of course, I didn't realize what he was telling me until many years later when I was actually old enough to watch scary movies. And then I felt a little upset because Dad had ripped off the plot of a Stephen King movie.

I think he's forgotten he did that but I am still afraid of Chucky and have yet to go to him again when I was scared of a movie.

Happy Friday!

Homeowner Anxiety

We closed on our house this month! And now I'm having anxiety... I'm going to give myself an ulcer or something. Most of it comes from the fact that it's a duplex and we're renting out the other side. There were renters that were already living next door that decided to tell us the night before closing that they were moving out. Great! After 2 years they decided to leave when we need renters the most. Ugh.

 I'm freaking out!

On the plus side (trying to be positive) we get to start fresh. The expensive part is that the rent we got was going to cover mortgage payments and there is a lot (A LOT) of work to be done because they weren't exactly easy on the place and it has needed maintenance for a while. We have to completely gut the bathroom. Down to the studs! EEK! And we also need to get some newer kitchen appliances... and flooring... and every room needs paint. So hopefully when we're done it will be one f*#king FANTASTIC looking place!

So if my blog posts start to look like I'm spending way too much time watching HGTV, it's probably because I am. Or if I don't post at all it's because I'm elbow deep in paint or other projects. I feel like I'm going to get crazy with stress until the work is done and the place is rented. I'm seriously losing my mind, guys. I about had a breakdown picking a neutral paint color. Why are there so many shades of white?! So I just gave up and picked a white because my brain was going to implode if I thought about it too much longer. And funnily enough the paint sample I brought back matches the color that's there almost exactly- so now I'll know what to get to refresh it the next time we need to. The stress fun of home ownership has begun.

Real Life Is Scary Enough Thanks

October is the month that a lot of people want to be scared because of Halloween and all that fun nonsense. But when you think about it, as you get older certain stuff just doesn't scare you anymore. I mean, spiders still scare me, but we have a history so that makes sense. And then there's zombies... I love/hate them.

You want some real life scary stuff? How about this: Taxes & audits! Mortgages! Late periods! A weird looking mole! Gray hairs & wrinkles! A dirty house and my mom is coming over!!! The horror! The HORROR!

So I don't watch a lot of scary movies, which these days seem more gore and violence than mental or anticipation. But Child's Play (click here to read about how Chucky ruined my childhood) and The Dark Crystal used to scare me so I'm not the best judge of what is scary. Except The Dark Crystal. Stupid freaky puppets.

Seriously... look at this thing!

Horrifying!

The weird part is, I like to watch and read scary(ish) stuff sometimes. The Walking Dead, Supernatural, and Resident Evil are some of my favorites, though those seem more suspenseful to me than deep-down terror that won't let me sleep at night. Then again I don't want that, so it's fine with me.

What scares you this time of the year? Mine is mostly the number of scantily clad young women on Halloween. It's cold out! You could get sick! Does your mother know you're leaving the house like that? What will the neighbors say? At least take a jacket with you, young lady!