September 25, 2012

I'm Thankful: For My Cat

I know it's kind of silly (and slightly weird) but I'm thankful for the cat. She's entertaining and rarely cuddly... I love her for the cuddly part.

She's so cute when she sleeps

There was a point when I didn't want a cat. Probably because of the allergies. Oh yeah, I'm also allergic to her, so that's awesome. And she's a junkie. But I like her anyway I suppose. She also likes to get into places she shouldn't be. Like on the towels in the closet. And on the table. And where ever she wants to go... because she's kind of also a jerk.

I'm mostly thankful for the fact that she's technically my husband's cat so I never have to clean out the litter box. Because that shit's gross. Literally. I refuse.

September 21, 2012

My Favorite Things: September

Holy crap September is almost over and I forgot to post my "things" this month. Not like anybody cares but whatever. Future me will remember and she can be a bitch.

Favorite thing #1
My book blog! Yes, I'm plugging my own stuff in my blog. Deal. I started it and I'm having my cousin start book blogging on it too. Because I'm busy or something.

Favorite thing #2
The Flog. Felicia Day is so cute, nerdy and hilarious that I love watching her videos.

Felicia at Dragon Con
Favorite thing #3
Home projects. I'm getting more into creative/crafty things and am always looking for cheap but cool stuff to do. Pinterest is great for this, but I also like a blog with creative ideas. Funky Junk Interiors has a lot of cute ideas!

September 20, 2012

A Letter To People At Walmart

Wamart, it's consumers and I have had issues for a while. I can't go into that place without feeling like I want to punch someone in the face when I leave. I don't go there because I want to. I go there because I absolutely have to.

In other words, Walmart and I don't see each other often. It's like that person you do all you can to avoid seeing. Come on... all of us have one of those people. Can we please just have some rules so we can cope?

1. Don't wear your pajamas or bathing suits. Nobody wants to see that. Also, wear clothes that fit. Actually, just try to dress like a normal person for an hour. It's the least you can do.

Don't let this be you
2. Have some common courtesy. Say "excuse me" if you want to get past someone instead of ramming them with your cart. If you do it should be a penalty and you should have to spend 5 minutes in the penalty box for being a dick.

3. Don't be so obnoxious. Do you need to let your kids scream and run around the store? Do you need to talk so frigging loud and swear even louder? Do you need to talk on your cell phone instead of the person checking out your purchases? No? Then stop. For the love of all that is holy, stop making people more annoyed than they already are. We're angry enough that we had to go in the first place so don't make it worse.

Those are the main things I can think of at the moment. I'm sure on my next trip there I'll think of 50 more. Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments.

*See People of Walmart for other things you shouldn't do... there's a lot so make sure you take good notes. There will be a test. It will determine if people will be your friend or not. Study hard, people.

September 17, 2012

I'm Thankful: That I Avoided Terror On My Birthday

Some people in my town have decided that my birthday would be a good time to do a "Zombie Walk." Thankfully, I found out about it ahead of time.

I don't want to see this on my birthday... or any day, really.

Zombiewalk @ Comic Con 2012
If I saw people looking like this coming 
towards me without warning I'd cry

I can't even explain how thankful I am that I found out about this or I would have been found 4 days later holed up in my house waiting for the end. I mean, I have a plan for when zombies attack, but when it comes down to it I'll probably just huddle in a corner in my basement.

So on my birthday this year, I'm taking the day off... I'll also be posting signs everywhere because I'm usually the last to find out about things and I don't want anyone surprised by people walking around like zombies. Because I'm a caring person.

September 10, 2012

The "I'm Thankful" Project

I'm starting a new thing. Once a week I'll be posting about something I'm thankful for. It will most likely be about something ridiculous, but that's OK!

I feel like it's something I need right now... also, it gives me something to post about. It also works for a Monday post because I've got nothing. Seriously. It's like there are moths flying around in the empty space where my brain should be.

So, the first thing I'm thankful for is...

No, really... THANK YOU
It's delicious and combines chocolate and peanut butter and tastes like a small piece of heaven or heaven-like substance. PLUS you can get it in "To Go" form. MUCH easier to dip my graham crackers into and that's important! Especially when I'm at work... I can't look professional with my hand stuck in a peanut butter jar.

September 6, 2012

My Car And A Deer Are Dead

I hit a deer this morning... and by "hit" I don't mean punched.

My car hates deer too
I hurt my wrist and I'm a little sore, but other than that... I just want to reanimate the deer so I can kill it again. Is that so much to ask? But I'll just deal with it because it's not worth creating a zombie deer that might spread the disease and cause the apocalypse. Patient Zero: Bambi. Nope, definately not worth it.

The deer paid for the car with its life. Was it worth it you suicidal deer? I was going to put up a picture of my injury but it's gross looking. So... you're welcome. I'm doing you a favor by holding myself back. Wait a minute! Does this mean I get cake? Surviving a deer catastrophe should at least earn me some cake. I mean, I could have died. I've got an injury and the only prescription is more cake... and pain pills.

I hope it's deer family finds it and dies of a broken heart
Updated: The best way to celebrate surviving and deer death is with cake.

September 5, 2012

Those Tools Were Made For Dolls

And by "tools" I'm not making a sexual reference. Or am I?

No, I'm not. Stop being gross.

I decided that I needed some tools around the house (other than my husband- bazinga!) because sometimes I need something which my husband has conveniently hidden away. Probably because I'm accident prone and it's dangerous. He wants me to be safe because he loves me or something. Or because he doesn't want me touching his stuff. I must have a dirty mind today because the sexual references keep popping up. I swear I'm not doing this on purpose. Penis.

Aaaaaany weiner, I found a girly tool kit so my husband wouldn't steal it.

I think he'd look cute carrying
this around!
I was excited to get it because 1) no touchy and 2) they're pink! Plus it comes with a hammer, screwdriver, level and a couple of other things. But when I got to the tape measure I got a little confused... who is this for? Look at it, it's tiny!

What is this, a tape measure for ants?
Zoolander reference anyone?

I don't know how you can do anything with a tape measure that small. I might be able to measure a dollhouse. Or a shoe. Luckily I bought a big girl tape measure before so I'm slightly prepared. So now I'm starting to do crafty things that I saw on Pinterest because that's what I do... start projects and usually never finish them. But if I ever finish anything... I'm buying cake. Because it's a good excuse for cake. Don't judge me.

September 3, 2012

My Cat Is Stalking Me

Or I guess I should say, she's following me for cat treats. She's turned into a junkie. I'm starting to get worried.

She's always watching
I came home from the store to find her watching me out the window. Cat's are creepy.

I blame my husband for the new craziness. He decided we didn't spoil the cat enough. Good job dear. Now she's a junkie just looking for her next fix. Next thing I know she'll be pawning my jewelery for a line of catnip. I'll have to start locking up the liquor and pills. She'll bring home some scruffy boyfriend named Jackknife who I won't be able to get rid of until she hops on the back of a tiny motorcycle and drives away. Heartbroken... I'm going to have an intervention. I think there's still time to help her before she goes too far.

Proof she's addicted
Sorry my voice is in the video. Not for any particular reason,
I just don't like it.