September 20, 2012

A Letter To People At Walmart

Wamart, it's consumers and I have had issues for a while. I can't go into that place without feeling like I want to punch someone in the face when I leave. I don't go there because I want to. I go there because I absolutely have to.

In other words, Walmart and I don't see each other often. It's like that person you do all you can to avoid seeing. Come on... all of us have one of those people. Can we please just have some rules so we can cope?

1. Don't wear your pajamas or bathing suits. Nobody wants to see that. Also, wear clothes that fit. Actually, just try to dress like a normal person for an hour. It's the least you can do.

Don't let this be you
2. Have some common courtesy. Say "excuse me" if you want to get past someone instead of ramming them with your cart. If you do it should be a penalty and you should have to spend 5 minutes in the penalty box for being a dick.

3. Don't be so obnoxious. Do you need to let your kids scream and run around the store? Do you need to talk so frigging loud and swear even louder? Do you need to talk on your cell phone instead of the person checking out your purchases? No? Then stop. For the love of all that is holy, stop making people more annoyed than they already are. We're angry enough that we had to go in the first place so don't make it worse.

Those are the main things I can think of at the moment. I'm sure on my next trip there I'll think of 50 more. Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments.

*See People of Walmart for other things you shouldn't do... there's a lot so make sure you take good notes. There will be a test. It will determine if people will be your friend or not. Study hard, people.

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