August 30, 2012

Some News is Weird

So I saw this headline today...
"Body parts found in auctioned Florida storage unit"

Umm... what? Thanks for creeping me out, CNN. And Florida? What's going on there?

I feel bad for whoever spent money on that storage unit hoping to find something good it in. Although, they may have found something good if they were hoping for body parts. If they were, they got lucky. Because who expects to find body parts in a storage unit? Besides the guy who owned it, obviously. Clean that shit out, dude. This would make for a good episode of CSI or something.

The weird thing is the guy that owned the storage unit used to do autopsies at a funeral home. Did people not notice limbs were missing or was he just really good at hiding it? Unless they were going to be cremated, in which case no one would notice anyway. Who would look at the ashes and say "I thought there would be more?" Nobody, that's who.

Either way the guy is creepy. All I know is, when I die I'd better not have parts taken off (or out) of me that I had when I died. I don't care if I'm dead, you can't cut off my arm or I will haunt you. I'll hide your keys and short sheet your bed and stuff. Don't mess with me... I'd be a scary ghost.

August 22, 2012


I’m not as Internet savvy (internavvy? Yup, I’m gonna call it that from now on) as I thought I was. Just yesterday I finally figured out how to put social networking icons on here. Do you see them? They’re on the upper right corner of my page.... I'll wait while you look. Seriously. I keep coming back to look at them and they’re not even the super cool kind. They’re just… regular. I did put a different one on my book blog, though. So, you know, there’s some progress anyway.

I used to think I had some internavvyness (I’m a word inventing genius!) but now I’m starting to doubt it. For work and my blog I try to keep up with what’s popular and test out different things (mainly social networks), but I feel out of touch at times. Is this how my parents feel? I remember getting frustrated with my dad because every time he tried to dial in (yes, I grew up with dial-up Internet and yes, it sucked) he thought the computer was broken. My sister and I used to have to coach him through every single time. This is how it usually went:

Dad: What is going on with this thing? Which one of you broke it?
Me: It’s not broken, Dad you have to connect it to dial-up first.
Dad: How do I do that?
Me: Click that icon (points)… same as every other time.
*Dad clicks once* You have to double click...
Dad: *Double clicks and dial-up sound begins* *Sighs* I hate this noise!
Me: I know, Dad. Everyone hates that noise.

Of course, this is a man that still can’t check his voicemail on his cell phone. I love you, Dad!

The "soothing" sounds of dial-up Internet
for those of us who remember it fondly (and by "fondly" I mean not at all)

I guess what I'm saying is, I can't let myself get out of touch. Especially with the Internet, the cyber-land that I love. I refuse to become that old lady that doesn't understand technology*.

*Note: I probably am going to become that old lady that doesn't understand technology

August 17, 2012

My Favorite Things: August

I haven't done one of these since, well, my first one. I'm doing one again because, I'm not sure if you knew this, there are SO MANY COOL THINGS on the internet!

The first thing is TeeFury. They have a different shirt for sale every day for $10. It also helps that the shirts have awesome designs, like the shirt I ordered and mentioned in a previous blog post.

Gimme my $10 shirts!

ThinkGeek is also an awesome place to buy stuff. I want so much stuff off of this site. Especially this DNA Pendant necklace I saw. It's pretty... I want. Also, they have Portal, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly and bacon products. The only thing missing is that they're not in my house.

I'll take 1 of everything!

The last thing (for the moment) is The Lizzie Bennet Diaries (LBD). The LBD is a modernized adaptation of the classic Jane Austen novel, Pride and Prejudice. The story is told primarily through Lizzie‘s Video Diaries, while being supported by her and other characters social media streams.
The series was created by Hank Green (from Youtube channels Vlogbrothers and Crash Course... and also many other projects) and Bernie Su.

I love the characters, the wit and the retelling of a story I was too lazy to read for most of my life.

 The 1st episode of LBD

*Note: No one asked me to promote their stuff. Anything that has been mentioned is something I like and received no compensation for products/sites mentioned... even though I wouldn't say "no" if they offered me something cool (*hint).

August 16, 2012

My Fortune Cookie Is Making Me Paranoid

I got a fortune today that didn't bother me at first, but now that I've started to think about it I can't stop.

Don't screw with me, cookie. Tell me what you know!
Cookie: "Your lost possession will be found within the month"
Me: What? WTF! Did I lose something that I don't know about?
Me: Don't screw with me, cookie!
Me: Tell me what you know!

The cookie couldn't answer me because 1) I had broke it in half and killed it to get the fortune in the first place and 2) because it's a f*#king cookie. I'm not crazy here, guys...

But now I'm trying to remember if I lost anything that needed finding. I'm sure if I go looking though all of my stuff I'll find something I didn't remember I had. Does it still count as lost if you forgot you had it? Either way I hope it's something good.

August 15, 2012

Why Did I Just Say That?

Sometimes I don’t understand why my brain and mouth have such a hard time connecting to each other. It’s like they’re purposefully screwing with me.

I was on the phone at work today and when we were hanging up the woman said “goodbye” and for some reason my response was “you’re welcome.” WTF, brain. You’re welcome I’m getting off the phone. I put my forehead on my desk and all I could think was “why did I say that? What is wrong with me?”

"I can't even function correctly over the phone"
I’m not punishing myself for one slip up. I do this all the time. Last time I did that someone said “thank you” as we were hanging up and my reply was “thanks.” *Face palm* If it wasn’t so funny I’d go cry in the supply closet.

It’s even more fun when I do stuff like that in person. I can’t do anything but stand there awkwardly until I find an excuse to escape. And until I can escape I make it more awkward by trying to explain that my brain does this to confuse and humiliate me. Then they think I’m crazy because I’m personifying my brain. This all ends with my brain yelling “panic!” and I walk away as quickly as possible with my head down.

This is why I should not be allowed in public and strengthens my argument to my husband that I would make a good hermit. He thinks being a hermit is a bad thing, but what does he know? He still thinks I should be able to function normally in group settings... Ridiculous.

August 13, 2012

This Shit Just Got Real

I'm doing something I'm unsure of, which really shouldn't be a surprise to me. After thinking a bit about it ("a bit" for me is usually about 5 minutes, this time maybe 30- it's that important) I decided to buy a .com for my blog. So it's really weird for me to say that people can now read my ramblings by going to So yeah, that's a thing now.

Do you know what you're doing, maam?

Nope. I don't.

I may try to make some changes now too, to make the site look, you know, better. Good even, if I can give it enough time. But seeing as I've been blogging for over a year now, I thought I'd try it out. I know it's only been a year but that's a long time for me to keep up with something. The only things I've done longer has been to stay married and breathe and stuff.

I don't know why buying a domain name freaks me out so much. Maybe because it makes this more serious. It's like I got married to a domain name and I'm having a panic attack like I did when I got married for reals. I wasn't panicking during the wedding, just the morning of. Because that makes it better. Because I say so.

I'm also super psyched that the first picture I put up of myself is this one. My panic attack gave me bad judgement. Well, too late, I'm leaving it. Deal with it future me.

August 8, 2012

Book Bloggery and Stuff

I have a book blog too... just thought I'd throw that out there.

Clicky here for my other blog

So I'm not ignoring this blog I just started blogging more over there. Plus I don't really have anything witty to say at the moment. That is all. Oh God, my wit might be broken. Hold on...

Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

OK, that was a joke. Crap. I have to get my wit fixed.

On another note, the other day I ordered an awesome shirt that I'm really excited about.

A mix of Doctor Who and Star Wars?
Take my money right meow!