May 29, 2020


So I did that thing again where I haven’t written on this blog in a year. To be fair, I have written in my book blog part of this site so at least that’s SOMETHING, right?!

Also to be fair, I’m fairly hopped up on Long Island iced tea right about now. Whew! This quarantine thing is crazy, guys. To bring you up to speed, which I’m sure you probably don’t even care about (sorry), I’m working on my Masters degree which means my free time is basically zero. People talk about free time during quarantine, but I was lucky enough to already have a job where I work from home so this has effected me only so much as for the few times I actually leave my house I have to wear an uncomfortable mask. I feel extremely lucky but at the same time I’m almost jealous of all those people on tiktok who are like “look at this cool thing I did with all this time I have!” Don’t mind me, I’m just crying in the corner as I read this boring ass textbook. It’ll all be worth it some day... possibly. I don’t actually know what I’m going to do with it. I live in a rural area, options are limited (hence the teleworking situation that again I am forever grateful for).

Did I mention I’m currently drinking? The wine did nothing but I drink a LI iced tea and I’m done for. This reminds me of a work trip I went on when I went to an Irish pub and had THE BEST steak I’ve ever had in my life. OMG you guys. Also there were many drinks which might be how I was lead there. But now I really want a steak... damn it. It’s 10pm this is NOT a good time for this line of thinking. Actually I’m not even sure where I was going with this. What day is it? Who am I? What am I doing again? By the way I think this is where I was, but I’m a little fuzzy on the details... for reasons. Thursdays is steak night and I highly recommend it. The prime rib *muah! Perfect. Crap I’m so tipsy and hungry right now, this is not a good combination.

Anyway, I should be working on a paper right now but I feel like that last LI hit me harder than it should have. They always get me.

OH BTW I got chickens! I don’t know how I forgot that important part (drinks). They’re cute little babies now, but their bigger bird feathers are starting to come in and they’re at a weird teenager phase right now. But here they are when they were cute and full of peeps.

This one was falling asleep as I held it. Awe!

January 14, 2019

I'm Having That "Motivation" Problem Again

How do you motivate yourself to do something you don't want to do and still be happy about it? I've said this a million times before, but I need to workout. The problem is, I also hate getting myself into the process of working out. I imagine that's a problem a lot of us normal folks have unless you're one of those fitness people who talk about going to the gym all. the. time. You know them...

"I had such a good workout" blah blah blah. I don't like them. They make me feel inadequate. Listen, Fitness Jenny, I'm chubby but also too lazy and tired to get up early in the morning thank you very much. It's a mix of that and my husband and I working opposite schedules so my time to myself when I'm not working is basically zero. But still, that's an excuse. Also it's, like, super cold out there right now?

I found an app that’s pretty cool and there was one motivational quote I thought might help.

 I suppose that's true and should be good motivation. Unless you're pushing yourself to do more drugs. Then definitely don't push yourself to do that one because then tomorrow could include jail time, a hospital visit, or death. Maybe push yourself to do less or no drugs? I'm not judging you, just saying.

So I made these to motivate myself instead...

Although I don't like when I'm mean to myself either so maybe I should be nicer. But being nice to myself by being an enabler doesn't help. Maybe I can be a little bit of a dick to myself to get me to do something. What helps you not be enabled to eat the rest of the junk food in front of you because "if I eat it all it will be gone which means I can't eat it later." And then I feel awful because "why did I eat so many gummy bears? My stomach hurts and I think I have a sugar buzz." As an example. I only maybe most likely actually did that for real yesterday. As an example.

December 15, 2018

New Year Big Changes

Something came up that is going to bring some unexpected changes to 2019. I've accepted an offer for a different job. I like where I am, but sometimes when you get the opportunity to do something new, no matter how scary and unfamiliar it is, you take it. The biggest change is that I'll be working from home, which is both great and new and also slightly intimidating.

I say intimidating because I'll be responsible for making sure I'm working when I need to be without someone watching me. I got my Bachelor's degree online though so I don't doubt that I can set a schedule for myself and stick to it... one that includes getting up later than I have to now and getting a workout in before starting my day. I'm going to set my routine and I'm strangely excited about it.

I'm scheduled to start after the holidays and I can't think of a better way to start a new year than to leap into a new challenge with excitement and eagerness. I can't wait to get started. I hope 2019 brings you joy and change for the better as well. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

May 10, 2018

I Do Weird Things Sometimes

I noticed something weird about myself today as I was checking out at the grocery store and it made me realize that I've got some quirks. My brain is weird.

  • When putting in my pin number at the checkout, I think of a different number as I'm punching in the right one just in case anyone with telepathy wants to steal my information.
  • I don't want to say that I don't believe in ghosts because I'm worried a ghost might show up just to prove me wrong.
  • I have a plan if zombies become a reality. But only the slow ones. If the fast zombies happen I know I've got no chance.
  • I don't like going out in the dark by myself because of said non-existent zombies.
  • When I'm driving I won't play a song if it talks about dying or crashing because I think it might jinx me.
Actually this just made me realize that I have a lot of weird fears... dang.

February 3, 2018

I'm Doing It?

My last post was about making a change and starting to get healthy. I might actually be sticking with it this time. I've worked out 9 of the past 10 days (1 of those was a yoga session but I'm counting it). I'm thinking I may have found some motivation this time and now the struggle is keeping it up. Funnily enough, the motivation came from a saying... yup that was it. No bribing myself with clothes or a trip or some kind of gift.

Do your future self a favor and work hard today.
A screenshot from a Pointless Blog video.
He painted that saying on his gym wall.
 If I think about what I'm doing as not for myself today, but for myself in 6 months, l year, & however many years away, the change and choices I am making will benefit future me. I hope you're thankful, future me, because this is really hard.

Some days I enjoy working out. I find myself looking forward to it because even if all I can get is a half hour, it's a half hour I get to (and for) myself. I'm not putting too much pressure on myself. If I really want chocolate I'll have some. It's ok to eat unhealthy things sometimes as long as you're aware that it means you have to work even harder. You didn't fail because you ate a doughnut... just do some more squats and cardio. I love food so I'm not going to let my desire to lose weight get in the way of it. If I denied myself the things I liked I wouldn't have made it a week.

If you're struggling I'm right there with you. Cheers to you and good luck.

January 26, 2018

Can I Motovate Myself This Time?

My life since high school as been a back and forth of trying to motivate myself to work out and be healthy and not wanting to move from the couch. I do OK for a while but then give in because being healthy is not easy. I do not have the time or energy to convince myself to do the right thing all the time. It’s so easy to get discouraged because you’re not really seeing results. Or you start to gain weight back and then just continually expand because you and your body disagree on what you should look like.

Just look at my previous blog posts. I’ve been here before... still working on it. I’m a mom who never gets time to herself to pee in private let alone be able to work out at a normal time. I had to get up at 5:30 yesterday morning to get my first workout in and even though I felt great after it was like fighting a battle with myself to get out of bed to do it. I DON’T GET TIME TO MYSELF AT LEAST LET ME SLEEP.

To try to motivate myself I got workout shoes that actually fit because I’d been wearing my pre-pregnancy shoes and those bitches haven’t fit right since I got pregnant with my son and he’s going to be 3 soon. And then I got a punching bag because if anything I’ll get to hit something really hard, and if hitting something can be good for your health I’m all in. I might seem quiet and reserved to people who don’t know me, but on the inside I’m slightly mischievous with some violent tendencies towards punching bags that I imagine are people that have been rude to me. I feel like I’ve gotten off topic and opened a door to my mind I was not prepared for.

I signed up for a 5k in April (Zombies, Run! Virtual 5k) and am doing my best at eating better. But that shit is hard. Why does all the best food have SO MANY CARBS AND CALORIES?! Wish me luck! If you’re in the same boat let me know and we can cry over carrot sticks together. And also wine because I’m not giving up everything good.