Why Did I Just Say That?

Sometimes I don’t understand why my brain and mouth have such a hard time connecting to each other. It’s like they’re purposefully screwing with me.

I was on the phone at work today and when we were hanging up the woman said “goodbye” and for some reason my response was “you’re welcome.” WTF, brain. You’re welcome I’m getting off the phone. I put my forehead on my desk and all I could think was “why did I say that? What is wrong with me?”

"I can't even function correctly over the phone"

I’m not punishing myself for one slip up. I do this all the time. Last time I did that someone said “thank you” as we were hanging up and my reply was “thanks.” *Face palm* If it wasn’t so funny I’d go cry in the supply closet.

It’s even more fun when I do stuff like that in person. I can’t do anything but stand there awkwardly until I find an excuse to escape. And until I can escape I make it more awkward by trying to explain that my brain does this to confuse and humiliate me. Then they think I’m crazy because I’m personifying my brain. This all ends with my brain yelling “panic!” and I walk away as quickly as possible with my head down.

This is why I should not be allowed in public and strengthens my argument to my husband that I would make a good hermit. He thinks being a hermit is a bad thing, but what does he know? He still thinks I should be able to function normally in group settings... Ridiculous.