July 15, 2012

Happy Anniversary, Douchebag

Be married is awesome. And by "awesome" I mean it's as awesome as being stabbed in the face repeatedly by a monkey holding a toothpick. I mean, the monkey is stabbing me... I'm not being stabbed with a monkey. That would be both horrifying and adorable.

All I wanted to do was something, I didn't care if it was walking around in a nearby town, I just wanted to get out of the house. Anniversaries are once a year and I like to make them different. So what does he do as we're supposed to leave to go to a movie neither of us really wanted to see? He plays xbox. He claims all of his cloths were in the dryer (fact: he had pants in the bedroom that he decided just weren't good enough to wear- who has "emergency only" pants?) and it would make us late for the movie. After throwing pants at him (the not good enough ones) I got ticked and drove away. Because, you know, why not? THEN he says I'm wasting gas.

So we argue over texting and I come home to find him still on his xbox (I only went to the gas station so the wasting gas argument would be moot to a sane person). So we argue some more and I'm wrong about everything... again... and now he just took off to only God knows where.

Guys, please learn from this horrible example
He's probably going to read this someday so I'll put this next part on here for him:

You sir, are a dumbass. That's right, you read it correctly. I put up with so much from you and I hold my tongue 90% of the time to keep peace in the house, but someday you will do something that will make me snap and not allow me to stay quiet. You will evoke (invoke? I'm terrible at this) the wrath of Kahn... or, you know... Me.
Happy Anniversary, Asshole.

*Note: Sorry to anyone who reads this. I'm ranting and some of my anger spilled into my beloved internet. I'm sorry Interwebs, I still love you!

Update: Plotting my revenge. He complained I didn't get him anything (why would I? I still haven't gotten a birthday present from LAST. YEAR!) so he'll get his present (insert evil laugh here). I'll be sure to post an update when I get it, though it'll have to wait a little over a week until I get paid again. But it's coming...
Updated Part II: Admittedly, I was a bit angry when I wrote this. I still occasionally agree with the first paragraph and I can't say that I disagree with anything I wrote. Truth is a bitch sometimes. And the truth is that marriage is hard. Duh, right? We have good and bad days. This, obviously, was a bad day. But I stay for the good days- of which there are many more than the bad. That's what lets you know that it's love- when you're willing to stay when the days are bad. And there will be bad days... but I cherish the good.

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