March 26, 2012

Unborn Babies Are Pressuring Me

Seriously, stop pressuring me babies!
Don't you like me?

It seems like over half of the women I know either have a kid or are pregnant... and it puts a lot of pressure on me!

I don't know if it's because of my age that this is becoming a large part of my life or because it's that time of the year. Either way, I can't say that I like it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my friends that are going to have kids, but it puts pressure on me to join the "get-busy-have-babies" club. I do want to have kids, but I feel like my inability to get knocked up right away makes me inadequate. I think my womb is rebelling and refuses to conform... or that's an excuse anyway.

Besides that, I thought makin' babies was supposed to be statistically difficult. Each month, a woman has an average of a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant. Those aren't the best odds! So why is everyone around me getting preggers now? I'll tell you why... conspiracy. It's all a conspiracy to make me feel bad about wanting to hold on to my peaceful childless freedom, nightly margaritas and wonderful, wonderful sleep-filled nights.

Well, fine! You win! I'll just have to have lots of sex, until I'm tired and worn out. And then because the chance is so low I'll have to keep doin' the nasty day after day, night after night. You know what? The trying part doesn't sound so terrible. It's the 18+ years after that will be the difficult part.

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