How Does One Go About Getting One of Those "Lives"?

I feel a little inadequate when I read other people's blogs. It seems like they have more stuff going on than I do. It must be because I rarely leave my house unless work or food is involved. And I live in a small rural area so there really isn't anything to do. When the biggest past time is the bowling alley or mini-golf and the thing everyone is currently excited about is getting a Buffalo Wild Wings, things aren't looking up.

I suppose I could travel but that requires money. This might be a good time to plug for sponsorships... Pick me for something because if you don't I'll have to go to the 60 year old BOWLING ALLEY! Again! Haven't I suffered enough? If you don't sponsor me for something I may take up drinking to pass the time and my future liver failure will be your fault! Can you live with yourself knowing you gave me liver damage? Can you? I won't be able to afford the good stuff either. I'll fall apart from $4 vodka like some crazy binge drinking nightmare. Nobody deserves to be forced to drink $4 vodka. I should put that on a shirt or something. Maybe that will be my new motto.

I'll even give you a sample of how good I am at making stuff sound good.

"Visit this site! It's better than $4 vodka!"

Which, lets face it, what isn't better than $4 vodka? It's not like I'm lying. But if it's something I really like I can say that it's better than the most expensive vodka in the liquor store. And if they don't like vodka, it's even better because it's basically saying it's way better than vodka. It's a win win! Why are you not requesting to sponsor me yet? Really, it's like I'm a genius.

It's true that's why it works

Please sponsor me and give me a life. Or maybe just send me something cool. Seriously, I'd be happy as long as it's better than $4 vodka and liver damage.